My favorite quotes from Seinfeld

I am going to start this post to include my favorite quotes from Seinfeld, my favorite show on TV. I will update it regulary whenever i will come across more and more interesting quotation.

1. Cramer: I was fighting the mug with one hand and driving the bus with the other hand. Then I opened the door and pushed the mug out on next stop.
Jerry: You kept on making the stop!!
Cramer (with a pause): People kept on ringing the bell.

2. Jerry: Bozo the clown! do you really think a name like "bozo" needs any recognition.

3. Elain: What is that look?
Jerry: What look?
Elain: Come on! I know that look!!
Jerry: Then you tell me. You are the big look expert.

4. Jerry: The human body is a lot of maintenance. It's lots of showering, a lot of Shaving, a lot of cleaning, a lot of clipping, a lot of checking. If your body was a car, you wouldn't buy it. It's a too much upkeep. It's too much pain.

5. Jerry: Women go to the absolute extreme. To me it's amazing the way women take care of all the hair on their bodies. One of the great mysterries to me is the act a women can pour hot wax on her legs, rip the hair out by the root and still be afraid of a spider.

Sex, Lies and Videotapes

If you happen to watch news programs lately you would have noticed the change in pattern of news. Apparently people have now bored of watching the same old news of which country is planning to attack which. Who is making the next nuclear bomb. Who is going to be the next president of USA. What is the next scandal coming from Iraq. This list goes on but I should better stop here. When I say here that people are bored, I am referring to average persons like me. I know there will always be some pretending to enjoy the ever repeating tripe, but those are rare and I took the liberty of excluding those out of this discussion.

One thing is sure - boring programs don't bring good TRP and hence news channels had to think of something interesting for average people like me. And what is more interesting than Sex. Yes! You hear me right and this is exactly what news channels found out. This is the only plausible reason (I could think of) behind the abundance of sex scandals surfacing by everyday. Everyday there is new scandal - hidden cameras, mobile phones, web cams and what not. It seems technology is favoring every possible sting operation and every horny teenager who wantd to take naughty pictures of his girl friend.

This transformation from repeating tripe to sex happened very systematically for news channels. Initially they started with just a simple news flash at 11 PM with no coverage, no interviews, nothing. Then slowly they started covering them little more. Now you could watch small interviews with police officials. You could have the views of so called experts whose knowledge on this matter is no better than mine. Finally they officially crossed the line between "porn" and "no porn" when they started broadcasting the videotapes with ever decreasing blurring of important body parts. These days thay blur it barely enough that any body having an IQ of 80 and above could imagine everything. And even if you don't have the required IQ to imagine what's there in the blurred section of screen you can still enjoy it by hearing to on going conversation (which they never censor).

If you ask me, this is probably the smartest business invention of 21st century till date. Censor board never question whatever you show on news channels. You don't have to put a dime in production because all you are broadcasting is the labor of that horny teenager who couldn't play "doctor doctor" when he was a kid. And your TRP has never been better before. Yes! It is the smartest business idea.

BTW, I have told you about sex and videotapes. If your wondering where is the "lie" part (read the title you moron) then don't believe a word i have written here.